Week 16 - Movement through pain

I've had to take a break from swimming for two reasons.  First being the pain in my neck was getting worse and every time I swam it was pretty unbearable that evening. Second being that it appeared I started a trend at the gym, and I could just never get any space in the pool to stretch or swim - given that I was not really able to swim reliably in a straight line, since I had a wonky flipper, and couldn't swim fast, it wasn't possible for me to share lanes. One time there 4 swimmers per lane, which in a pool that tiny meant they were already crashing into each without me adding my infirmity to the melee.

So I'm focusing on running, and stretching. It's going pretty well, and I can run 30 minutes now without any issues.

My range of motion is improving a lot towards the front. I can walk my hand up the wall about 135 degrees (if 180 was up straight next to my head and 90 was horizontally straight out in front of me). I can still only lift to 90 degrees out to the side. Both of those are with straight (ish) arm and unassisted. Assisted with my right hand I can get a little more movement, but getting my arm back down hurts. 

Getting my arm behind my back is my main focus now, with the goal being to be able to do up my bra like I could before I was broken. It took a while before I could even get my hand back and across my back. Once I managed that, things progressed a bit faster, as I use the pulley to pull my hand up my back with my right hand. It hurts like hell, and I have to force myself to do it, but there isn't any option if I want to be able to move again. I also contort my body like I'm auditioning for the Hunchback of Notre Dame, but I figure that can be fixed later, once there at least some movement in my shoulder. 

I'm not aware of restriction in my shoulder when I do this, I mostly feel it in my arm. It seems my elbow and wrist don't want to twist that way, and my bicep really doesn't want to stretch out. I find it works better if I get my right arm to do it first, so I can remember what the movement should feel like, and then attempt it with my left. 

My shoulder blade is still a bit like a wing, but I stand with my back flat against a wall (which hurts, particularly on the wing edge), and roll my shoulders back and try to pull my shoulder blades together and down, which seems to improve it. 

Sometimes it is incredible frustrating, and painful, and I feel like I'm getting nowhere and I should just give up and accept that my left arm won't work again. I'm also kicking myself that I didn't ask Mr Shoulder how likely it was that I could recover motion on my own, since he couldn't do the IGHL release during the surgery.

But I try to just keep plugging away and stretching, and sometimes I get that reward where something starts to work properly. I can stand with my hands in my pockets again, for instance. That wasn't possible even two weeks ago.  I can now work my way through my usual 10 minute Pilates stretch routine, with some modifications where my arms need to be above my head. I can sleep well, I have no pain except when I am pushing my arm to move. My right hand also no longer bothers me, and I think the lump is getting smaller, so the extensor policis (see what an expert I have become now, at least in a very, very specific section of the body!) tendons are actually visible again now. 

Next week I am finished with my current job and have a gap where I can really give more focus to my arm, and I'm going to attempt swimming again at the local gym which will hopefully be quieter during the day. The January appointment with Mr Shoulder is a motivator - I really want to be told I've done well and that he's happy with me, and it gives me a timeline to work towards.